A Quick Note on Exhaustion...

I don't think I could be more exhausted. On my third day of working 12 hour days and I give everyone who does so on a regular basis all year round SO much credit. Truly- to those people I bow down to you. As for me, I certainly have my limits. If I hadn't popped an adderall before the night started at the restaurant I don't think I would have made it because I was already dragging at the pharmacy.

But then I had the most lovely conversation with a wonderful couple that comes in the restaurant all the time. They are older, locals in this tourist community, and very involved. We chatted about sororities, my degree in religion/sociology, and ended up talking about Catholic church reforms. To my surprise I walked away from that conversation feeling incredibly energized... as it turns out I can be physically exhausted to the point where I'm ready to curl up in a floor in the corner, and get a second wind from a rather short conversation. Thinking about this later I decided that it felt so good because I was using my brain for the first time in a few days, and it felt great. Talking to people who were interested in my opinion, wanted to discuss things that required some critical thinking, and listening to their own opinions is clearly something I've been missing and I didn't even know it. All the more motivation to finish the summer and find a job where my intelligence is an asset and I'm not just pressing buttons, repeating myself, and smiling at grumpy old people and tourists until I think my face is frozen!

xoxo
T

My Current Job Situation

There is quite possibly no greater motivation to get your butt moving and get job searching for a "real life" job than working two retail/customer service jobs in a tourist town. By that I mean I am a cashier at a chain drug store and a hostess at a small, family run restaurant that is really flailing business wise and has the strangest staff possible, and I cringe every time I slip on my polo or dirty restaurant shirt with the lobster on my boob because I can feel my lovely liberal arts university education going to waste. And almost in the same moment I am ashamed of my blatant snobbery. That fine line those few conscientious souls in academia walk between their hoity toity theories and their awareness that they are part of an exclusive population and that they really aren't qualified to judge anyone and their life choices- after all aren't we all a product of our circumstances?- is a really difficult line to walk and I find myself drawn back there this summer time and again. In my anxiety to find a job for the fall, which I'm hoping will be some kind of balance between useful for my income in stimulating for my mind, I find myself wondering what the hell the "locals" are doing being satisfied slaving away in a dim little seafood place that forever will smell like fish and chips?

And yet... what the hell do I want to do with my life? I have no specific career desires. If I had to pick one thing I would say writer. Closely followed by actress. Part of me wishes that my parents had forced me into nursing school. Or instilled in me some burning desire to go to medical school that would have pushed me through the Chem and Bio classes and terribly long hours of lab... all things I avoided in college. On the one hand I have a really interesting and well rounded education background. On the other I am not trained for anything. I have yet to figure out how to effectively and creatively bottle and name my excellent communication, organizational and leadership skills in order to convince someone to hire me.

It seems that the weather today will be just as depressing as my train of thought this morning so I'm just hoping that the customers at both of the jobs I am working today aren't too grumpy. My fuse is getting shorter and shorter and I would really hate to lose it and go apeshit at a mean old lady today.

xoxo
T

Facebook Burnout

In contemplating my first post, it being rather momentous, as all "firsts" tend to be, I considered how to get off to a good start. What would make me sound the most interesting? What would be a good way to kick off what I hope will be a successful venture?

There was one thing that kept coming to my mind, and I tried to ignore it because it didn't really fit the witty and somewhat glamorous start to my blog that I desired, but I can't let it go. I keep thinking of how annoyed I am with Facebook. I know, I know, what a breakthrough thought! (kidding- I'll need to watch my sarcasm on here, so as not to confuse my multitude of readers. Hah- there it is again. In reality I have zero)

But really, it's irritating me that I am 'so over it'. I'm part of the Facebook generation! When it was invented, I was about to head to college. It was made for me! I should love it!  I suppose I did once. I could easily lose hours scrolling through my news feed and new pictures, editing my list of friends (is there anything more satisfying than deciding someone didn't make the cut and deleting them?), and looking at friends of friends with open profiles. I once religiously checked the birthdays to make sure I didn't offend anyone by not writing on his or her wall. I once even uploaded albums that carefully documented college stupidity/fun. Of course now those are locked down so tight I'm the only one who can view them, and my privacy settings are so strict that I'm not even sure my Wall is visible to my friends, since the job market doesn't seem to be very forgiving of that college stupidity/fun.

I'm not sure when it happened but I've slowly lost interest in Facebook. The thought of logging on to check  my news feed is unappealing and exhausting to even consider. Quite frankly I'm bored. I don't care that Sally McBoring wrote "Hey what's up! Miss you even though its only been a week xoxo" on Suzy McEvenMoreBoring's wall. I never remember to take pictures so I don't really need to upload them. I don't want to have inane public conversations with acquaintances and I would rather text or call my good friends. I use LinkedIn for job networking. So why do I even have an account?

Honestly? Without it I would NEVER remember birthdays. Nowhere on any of my many calendars or planners (I have a slight self control problem with office supplies and paper products) are any birthdays written down. So for now I'll keep my account, and hope that I'll feel some resurgence of fondness for the website. I just wonder what happened... and am I the only one with Facebook burnout?

xoxo
T