Success

The other day I was driving my friend’s sister L to the bus the other day and we had a conversation about young women and marriage and success and age.

First of all- why the timeline? Women seem to have very specific deadlines- they want to be married by one age, having their first child by another age. What’s the rush? If we think about how long we actually live, marriage at 25 means an average of 60 years of marriage. That’s a long freaking time. 

And L made a good point- we spend all of our childhood and teen years changing and growing and adapting to major changes in our environments and moving in and out of relationships, and then once we hit our twenties we work our butts off trying to accomplish a life of routine- something some might call stability and others might call security. Why? Why not approach our whole lives knowing full well that things can and will change, that we will encounter the unexpected, that we can and will enter and exit relationships- or sustain them. Why do we not seek out change and the unexpected once we graduate from college? Or rather- why is that the opposite of what we are “supposed” to do?

We decided it came down to measuring success. Whose job is it to define success? Shouldn’t each individual define it for him/herself? Whose to say that a singleminded pursuit of career and money is what makes one successful? What about happiness and balance- satisfaction and love? What about quality relationships, free time to play and stretch our creative side? 

On that note.. what does success mean to me?


xoxo
T